Why the late break?

I am sitting in the kitchen of my parents suburban two story house, nestled nicely into a little neighborhood in Granger Indiana. Snow is falling outside and I am looking forward to winter break starting soon. At this point in my life the only things I care about are my comics, my band, and one girl who I had never the courage of letting know what I think. I am 16. I am still searching for who I am and for some reason or another, never really feeling this huge press to do so, a problem that will repeatedly occur in my life, but that is a story for another time. Now the phone had just rang and it was her. See she was like my best friend and for whatever reason I was there for her, always listening to her problems, you know the standard "I hate my parents" or "Why are guys such jerks?" I never really had to answer, girls her age answer themselves and even if you were able to work a word in sideways it would have either been ignored or used against you in later conversations. I guess women never really grow out of that last part. Sitting there listening to her things sorta felt different that day. Like a small percent of the person I am today popped out and I told myself, "If there is a chance of telling her, I am going to do it!" I was determined and all I needed was the opportunity. Then she said something that interrupted my self motivating mental rant, "I like someone and I don't know how to tell him because we are so close." I was stunned, there was a long pause on both ends. I knew it, instant sweat burst from my forehead and if I was in a early 1990's anime my cheeks would have been blue from being paralyzed. Here it was, my chance, that fleeting moment, "TAKE IT NOW!" I scream to myself and without thinking I blurt out "It's me isn't it." Now freeze. I am for sure that she is about to tel me everything that I wanted to hear. I am sitting on a stool that I had not 2 days earlier help my dad assemble and I am sure that it is about to launch into space with me on it, because this couldn't be real. OK, resume reality. On the other end of the phone I hear laughter, and a question. "What?" I don't know what to do, I have put myself out there and here it was being crushed by some 15 year old girl. How was this possible, how do I fix this, my mind races to the one thing I have always been able to fall back on. Joke and divert! "What?" I say back, telling her it was a joke and laughing with her while all the while trying not to throw up and or pass out. Man this was gonna be rough.
The next couple of weeks were a godsend. I only saw her a handful of times before the winter break and thankfully my parents were stingy on when I was or was not allowed to use the car. X-mas went by and New Years Eve was right around the corner. Somehow I had talked my parents into letting me use the car so that I could play with my band at a party. I will tell you right now. 16 year old metal bands suck. We had no idea what the hell we were doing and guess what, most 16 years olds don't want to hear a stuttering solo or a 2 minute drum solo while my scrawny ass ran around the stage trying to keep from looking bored. We were done torturing people and I was relaxing on a couch full of girls who were there just to look good in front of other people. I think they are all single mothers now. Man you gotta love the mid-west in the late 90's. I don't want to be there and the duty of "watching the ball drop" was seeming less and less important and kept looking at my watch. 11:34pm. Man, time is slowing down, I get up to head out the door and am stopped by my friend who is telling me I have a phone call. I pick up the phone and say hello, "Phil?" it was her. I answer her telling her yes, my voice instantly cheering up and ask what's up? "Phil, I am at Katie's and I realize that I want to be with you." I drop the phone, I jump into my car and race over to Katie's. I knock on the door and look at my watch, 11:56pm. Plenty of time. The door opens and before I can work a hello, she has my face in her hands and she is kissing me, I break long enough to smile and go right back into kissing. I pinched myself about 30 times. I am with her, she is with me. I have no idea what is happening and the only other thing I remember about that night, besides the kissing, was my friend Katie yelling in the background that it wasn't even midnight yet. Haha, I guess I am remembering this, because I was trying to think of the last time that my heart was truly stopped, and then I started to think of the first time I ever loved. She was just a friend and we still talk more than 10 years later, but she was truly my first love, heartbreak and best girl-friend. I cherish these memories and for the longest time I couldn't remember these events. Past blocked out of self preservation that has changed due in part to the simple fact that I am truly happy and complete.