Fear of something great...

Sitting in my room on another Saturday night. Now granted I did work twelve hours today, but why am I not out trying to discover something new. Have I really settled on the stale boring existence of the guy no one asks to go out because he will just say no, or is it as simple as I have seen everything there is to see. Fully knowing that the later is impossible and the first isn't true because all my "friends" constantly ask me to hang (and come to think of it, only the closest have stopped asking) I believe that it might be somewhere in the middle that my soul is trapped. It might be because of all the preparation I am making for my life change, or maybe it is that I am scared that i might just meet a nice girl and have a great conversation that literally shakes the foundation that I have been built on (no that has already happened). Hmm...I am sitting here twiddling my thumbs in between these rapid thought sentences. I know I need to move on and I know that the world moves on without a second thought, but god, maybe right now I just need this time to sit and think and perhaps the answers will come in these moments of singular clarity.